“I’ll tell you, but first you have to agree to the game. And once you make a commitment to the game, you can’t back out, no matter how hard the questions are.”
“Oh, so that’s how it is.”
“That’s how it is.”
Once the respondent spouse agrees to the game, the activist spouse finds out what the three wishes are, promises to do them, and then asks three pertinent questions. These questions should be designed to get the truth out into the open so that it is not acted out sexually or in any other way. Examples: “Do you still love me?” “Are you bored with me sexually?” “Are you having an affair?” “Why don’t you look at me when we’re having sex?” These questions will be just as hard to ask as they are to answer, and are the very issues that are being avoided. Hence it will be quite difficult for both partners to play this game. It will entail much soul-searching, confronting, working through feelings, and give-and-take.
By the time the three questions are asked and answered, the first spouse may no longer be in the mood to have three wishes granted—at least not at that moment. So what might have been instant gratification of the wishes turns out to be delayed gratification. Inadvertently, the “active” impulsive has learned a lesson in tolerating frustration, taking responsibility, and long-range planning.
*147/196/1*
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