Established early in life, this philosophy will go with your children for the rest of his life. Every successful person has a set of goals. Of course these will be modified often, perhaps annually for major goals, or monthly, weekly or even daily for those of lesser magnitude.
But use the principle, and do your best to encourage its implementation as often as you get the chance.
Encouragement is vital. Asking how progress is being made, giving credit for success, and encouraging the youngster when the going gets a little tougher, are all necessary.
Keep an eye on the friendships your children develop. Without interfering too much, you can often make practical suggestions and offer guidance. It is pointless to tell your children that you simply don’t like Tom, or Dick or Harry. This will only antagonize, and perhaps cement an unsavoury friendship. Rather, be discreet, and endeavor to use tact. The same applies when the children reach adolescence and start forming boy-girl relationships. Tact, discretion and kindliness are all essential.
It is very important to make your home as open as possible for your children and their friends. If you fear illicit relationships, make sure Junior and his friends are about the house. In this atmosphere the friendships will most likely fade. Of course you can’t be your children’s seeing-eye dog at all times. But you can at least offer them situations where dangers may be minimized.
How many teenagers have run into moral strife because the home was simply not available, and they resorted to the family car and got into the habit of back-alley parking (and necking and whatever)? There is no more successful way of asking for trouble (and a probable unwanted pregnancy) than back-alley, back-seat necking, particularly at night.
The risks are less at home. A home atmosphere will not hold back the rising hormonal level of your growing children, but at least it will help to hold the reins in check until they can start to make sensible decisions for themselves.
Maybe you don’t like the sort of music your children play. That is sometimes a matter of taste. (My parents didn’t like the sort of music I grew up with either. But I still like the same sort of music today, and fortunately at least one radio station sees fit to play the nice, soft, easy-to-listen-to type of music of my late teens.) Popular tastes come and go, and nowhere is this seen so forcibly as in the musical scene. So, today’s musical tastes will be totally different fifteen years hence. My children’s children (and yours, too) will be thumping out music that our kids will say is hideous. But try to live with it, and if possible, try to become part of it—as much as you can.
If you can relate to your child’s interests, so much the better. Becoming involved in his school and its activities at least lets him know you care and are prepared to spend time and effort on his behalf. It’s worth trudging around at week-ends to school sporting fixtures, no matter how you might hate them.
Conversely, lots of parents will get a great amount of delight out of all this. Many will relive their own school-days, and become captivated once more as they see themselves (now reflected in little Johnny) performing in the field. Once more, this is all part of the family co-operation thing. It all helps to keep the family intact and together. If you can achieve all this, you have performed a marathon undertaking, and success is yours.
*17/76/5*
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